invitation to dinner

I had an interesting Christmas dinner. I'm a Canadian that recently moved to France. I met a nice American-French couple. The American girl has a Canadian friend who came to Paris for Christmas and wanted to have a Christmas dinner: they invited me. I went for the fondue dinner party and brought a couple bottles of wine: 1 red, 1 white. During dinner a comment was made that we should "pay" for our dinner. I thougth alcohol was involved. It seemed so strange to me to invite guests to a dinner and then ''charge" them.

Today I happened to check my voicemail messages. I'm very bad at that. I had a message from the Christmas Fondue Dinner Organizer requesting that I pay her somewhere between 23-40 Euros depending on how many people showed up for dinner.

I have to say this is the first time in my LIFE someone has invited me for dinner and after requested payment. I was not consulted as to the selections for this "festivity". I was not with the invitation advised that in lieu of a pot luck we were expected to make MONETARY contributions. It's very shocking to me.

I have invited many people to my home in the past and have only ever said when ASKED, "bring a bottle if you'd like".

Am I crazy or is this "proper decorum meets rock-bottom"?

Seriously, it disturbs me.

In retrospect this person provided enough for at least 10 people let alone the 6 attending. They were not cooking with any sort of skills. Who in their right mind uses Toblerone bars to melt for chocolate fondue???

Should I take a discount for having helped the hosts (by the way not the same people asking payment) for cleaning their kitchen twice between courses and for brining wine?

If this person had approached me and said, "Hey we're having a fondue Christmas dinner and you will have to pay 23 - 30 euros"... I would have laughed to myself and said, "Thanks. I have other plans." I would have been more happy to pay an experienced chef such euros and had a dinner without the insults that I happened to endure. Yes. That's another story!


Don't mistake me. I'm not cheap. In moving to France, I gave away about 95% of the contents of my apartment. I wanted to help people rather than profit from a garage sale. This my way of thinking. Seriously, I gave away nice, perfect condition clothes such as business suits, furniture, fixtures....you name it.

I'm curious about your thoughts. Do you think I'm being unreasonable in thinking this is rude behavior at best? Even if I had received the message before the Christmas Dinner and declined; the culprit would have been on the hook for just the same. In the message she left, she claimed to be unsure of my COST becuase she was unsure of those attending.

I'm wondering if this is the new trend: invite people to dinner, decide solely what gourmet or non-gourmet items I would like to consume and then send a bill???? Round up based on those I invited and did not show.

Is this a classic case of give expecting to receive???

Again, I stress that i am not cheap. I was invited to a by-invitation-only New Year's party at a local bar in Paris. I was told upfront; the party will include unlimited champagne, dinner and desert preparted by a local 2 star Michelin-rated chef, with a DJ for X price. I cordially paid and attended....no disappointment from the wonderful host and chef?

But I'm supposed to pay 23 to 30 euros for an invite a fondue party....but informed that a price was involved after accepting invitation?

I say here clearly in cyberspace. When I invite people to a party, I expect people to only bring a bottle of wine if they CHOOSE or some other beverage they would prefer. In all my years of partying ...this is by far a FIRST.

After consultation with Candian, American and other friends, I have yet to find one person who was NOT shocked by this.